We are greedy, mercenary bastards who subscribe to the general industry wide preference to be paid in some form of negotiable currency rather than barter goods, livestock, farm produce, or beer and vittles.  This is especially true of most Knights of Columbus beer.  We have extensive experience in this area, and with the exception of the fine German beer served at Hondos annual Oktoberfest, we would rather be paid with wombat urine than with the swill that is normally foisted off on the poor bastards at Knights of Columbus parties.  Therefore, it is expected that you secure a few six-packs of some brew more suited to our lofty station and exalted talents, such as Bass Ale, Sam Adams, Goose Island, etc.

It is expected that there will be ample beer (a little beer before and during playing is OK, but our real thirst will be for the 'beverages' after the performance, when we will no doubt really need it).

We require press releases, promotional and billing considerations, dressing rooms, staging requirements, other personal requirements, etc.  that are part and parcel of an act of this magnitude. Of course if they don't know who we are, they must be from another planet!

Red peanut M&Ms only, cut in quarters, with a peanut quarter in each cut section (size of each peanut quarter to be within 5% of the mean size of all four of the peanut quarters). 

Also, it is expected for you to rent us a hotel suite.  I know we live in the area, so we won't need to sleep there, but it is traditional for us to trash a hotel suite before we play, and I think it helps us focus.

We prefer black limos and helicopters with white accents (it matches our guitars).  

Please inform the appropriate person that due to our advancing age, we will need only two groupies each.  However, please make sure that they are fully trained in CPR (Level II EMTs are acceptable, Paramedics are preferred).

Separate and well-appointed dressing rooms, helicopter and limo service from the landing pad, hairdressers, personal assistants, and "people" guitar carriers for both Beyondos. 

The press will have limited access to the Beyondos and absolutely no unauthorized photographers or helicopters flying overhead during the Beyondo performance.  You know how the paparazzi can get out of control.

Separate discussions and contract, etc. are necessary if a business manager is involved, be prepared for a hefty percentage. (That means lots of beer). As for the business manager's beer consumption for managerial services, well, let's say that you should be prepared to take a loss on that part of the deal.

For any business manager, we treat each gig as an audition as our manager. We must emphasize that you're on your own at keeping up with the demands of our manager!

We appreciate the arrangements and personal considerations you provide.  

Everything is expected as specified in this Standard Beyondos Contract.

Gig:_____________________

Signed:__________________________Date_________